You know what drives me insane the most?
The fact that my life is not in order, AT ALL.
I live in America, right? So I should have more opportunities than this.
Of course, I am not trying as hard as I probably should, so I guess I can blame myself for becoming easily discouraged.
I hate having to be the one with LOGIC and reasoning. I hate the fact that I am EXPECTED to keep my cool at all times while everybody else just act like assholes. How do they get to do what they do and have SO MUCH in life? How do they deserve it with the way they're treating other people?
Yes, I'm questioning my faith because honestly if there were a GOD, then the bible and all the scriptures are a lie fabricated by man. We are taught to live be these "rules" or "commandments" yet reap NOTHING from it.
I figure I will touch an aggravating spot to those who believe and have hope/faith in people.
I do not have hope/faith in people. They do nothing but let you down. Maybe it's me letting myself down, either way I am still only a person and that equates BACK to the original mindset that having hope/faith in a person is pointless.
Yeah, I don't know where I see myself in 5 years. I should honestly have goals and plans.
I know one thing, if I get out of this situation that I'm in, I will NEVER put myself back into it. I have better self-control than one might think. I know how to move on, I just don't know how to get the gears moving.
Sounds rather stupid, I know. Yet, it's truth.
I read that my negative attributes are hypocrisy in a numerology book. As much as I loathe that word, that connotation is correct. I tell others to keep their head up, that there is a brighter side to life.. yet I don't do it.. I don't believe it.
It feels as though it's been programmed into my mind because so many other people have told me this, so it may as well be true.. right?
More than most times I believe it's WRONG.
I was doomed since I was born.
